Februaries

"My love for you is solely my own" is such a very unconditional way to say "I love you." I understood it as how one is satisfied with giving love and expecting nothing in return. Who could love like this?

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"Now I can love you, without you," is such a powerful demonstration of a selfless, not seeking personal interest, just pure "I love you you don't have to care" and that's final. 

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After how many days of not replying to messages, how do I reply and bounce back as if nothing happened? Dilemma. Sometimes there's just that day I'm feeling fed up and not having the strength to reply. A day is okay but when it becomes 2, 3 or more then that's when it becomes so difficult to explain the kind of person I am. I never meant to be rude. I sometimes feel afraid of conversations, 

of replies, 

of not receiving replies, 

or simply I'm just not having it,

all together.

I dread that a lot of people don't understand that. I'm grateful for a few who understands that and gives me the space I need.

In a surrounding where I'm called to do almost everything that my being finds uncomfortable to do is so draining. But I press on believing I am nothing but a slave.

A slave of a King.

I tend to be so ascetic I realise.

I think that life must, in all aspect, be sacrificial.

It's okay, really.