Otherworldly

Usually, skyline amazed me. And city lights should make me alive. And big crowd should make me feel I have companies. And fine red, black and blue pens call for writing, textliners initiates reading. A clean pad paper smells beginning while sticky notes are my freedom walls. A nice calculator, a dry correction tape, binder clips, a mechanical pencil and a Staedtler eraser helps me feel I am at home. I have them on Alleah’s table. Am I not blessed?
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Before when I get asked by some people who pass by, “Miss, anong oras na?”
And I am always very defensive not knowing if the person has innocent motives or the other.
It feels so strange to be the stranger this time.
I feel like a dot of a blank sheet of paper. Something isn’t supposed to be there. But if I continue marking on the paper, I could actually make sense.
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There are mornings that I wake up in the boarding house, I’m always like this in my mind,
“Oh shocks, nasan ako?! Nakidnap ata ako!”

And I would inspect my surroundings and I’d see Clang sleeping and in a few seconds, when my brains are slowly regenerating,
“(Sigh) Ay oo nga pala nagtatrabaho na pala ‘ko at wala ako sa bahay.”

It’s funny but so panicking to wake up those mornings having a slight amnesia. Buti nalang I haven’t tried getting out of the bed with my eyes closed, baka mahulog ako, double deck pala bed namin dito.

I look forward to the day that I will get used of not getting used of it. Dig that.

It’s nice that I always look forward to Saturdays and Sundays now differently. And how I number not days but each second of those days I’m home. And when I say home, I meant somewhere or “someone” that I’m comfortable with.
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They can’t hurt me, ‘coz there’s no one here that I love.
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Clash comes out just because maybe some just have nothing else to do. When you aren’t occupied, there is a possibility that your mind has chances of being the devil’s workshop. Anger is an effective tool to initiate sin.

During days I have nothing else to work on. Just staying at home, having all the time in the world to do what I want, then insignificant thoughts popped out and the devil would tempt me to think something corrupt about things and people. Then my mind would create issues that don’t even exist, or if it does, it gets worse.
I just think that if someone did something to anyone, I just need to make allowances for their faults as I would like them to do unto me.

According to Joyce Meyer, there are really some people that we can never learn to have them around. And when God commanded us to love our neighbours as we love ourselves, He didn’t say we would be best of friends with them or that we should always hang out and try to have them around ALWAYS. If there are clear defined dissimilarities we can never work on such as norms, customs and traditions, or personality that we cannot withstand, we can always try to be nicer when socializing with them.

It’s the reality of life. There is love at first sight, and also hate at first sight. It does happen.
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“I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End,” says the Lord. God has set an ending to every battle.

P.S.
I take full responsibility with every word that I have written. No one except for me is accounted with this post.

Gora nako mga te,

Lady Diana

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