Not a Love Story, page 1


He was so thin then but not so lame. He’s tall. He has a very distinct voice, soft but strong. He never smiles but the way he stares tells a thousand words.

In her junior year, inside her language class whose instructor was a bit attention-seeker, she enjoys rolling her eyes looking for something interesting worth staring as she sits next to the window, a perfect place in the classroom to daydream.

He was sitting at the corridor with his friends even though it is a “no loitering” area during on-going classes.

She was so bored of the Chapter 20 of the book her instructor asked the whole class to read at home. Her instructor loves to call students that are paying attention not to him but to the voices in their heads.

He was throwing jokes to the group as he enjoys a normal day of his life.
Then she looked at the window. The window is so wide, but not enough to cater the whole scenery.
He occupied a small space in the frame of the window to be pictured at.

She rolled her eyes, to the left, to the right, and as she slowly fixes her eyes on somewhere and he was very fortunate to be on her sight.

She stared at him. She kept on staring. It wasn’t a special stare. She didn’t intentionally look at him, she was daydreaming something else.

He saw her. He saw her looking at him. He wasn’t very used to it—being stared. So he immediately switches looking to something else.

Her daydream ended when she was disturbed by the way he acted, he was so shy when he saw her looking.

She is a very jolly person, she easily gives smile to people, even strangers, so when she saw him do that shy-face, she grinned.

He looked at the other way.

She was so playful that she teased him by repeatedly looking at him.
Then he’d look at her again, and then he’d caught her looking at him again, shy face, look somewhere. It repeated.
She enjoyed it.

He hid that he smiled.
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Every time she sees him, she’d intentionally sneak a peek. She enjoys fooling him a round.
Then he’d try not to be mindful of what she’s doing.
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She was walking in the campus, when someone approached her, “He was looking for you.”
“Really? Why?”
“I don’t know.”
As she continues to walk, another approached her, “He was asking about you...”
“Okay.”
Then another one said he was again looking for her.
As everyone now teasing her, “Hey he’s looking for you.”
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“He gave me this shirt, he said you might not have a uniform to wear so he asked me to hand it to you,” (On a particular event, a shirt was required to wear) one of her classmate who happens to live nearby the guy’s house, his shirt by the way.
“Oh thank you,” she said. *blushes*
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She is the leader of an organization, he happened to be one of the former officers of the said org.
Before appointing the positions, or should we say the “election” except that the members didn’t vote for them, but only the founder, or the head of the org, he was rooting for her, it wasn’t a game to bet on, but he knew it was going to be her as the leader.

She has idea on why he bet on her, what she only wants is to be second after the leader.
He was right, she was elected for the position.
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Then he walks her to the terminal.
“Can I go with you to church on Sunday?” he asked.
“Yeah sure,’ she answered.
And before she rides in the jeep, he again said with a voice a little louder, “Sunday!”
She nodded.
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She wasn’t sure of his feelings but she is sure of her.
He likes her. He thinks she is a shot of life.
But he was so sensitive with small matters that reject the attention he gives. She likes him too, but there are things that she is so reserved to do even though she really wanted to.
Because she is not used to doing things like dating or showing affection, she sometimes rejects his invitations even she really wanted to go.
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He waited for her as she confirmed going to the church this day. This is another day, they’ve been going to church already, but today she has school-related activities. She was with her classmates as she looks at her watch and be saddened because she wanted to go already. But their practice isn’t yet done. She hates to do this, but she texted him saying she won’t be able to come.
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Instead of going home, he just stayed somewhere near the church.
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And when they’re done, she headed home, since her way to home passes to the church, he saw her. He didn’t call her because she is with her classmates.
He watched her every step, and texted her, “Hey I saw you.”
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She thinks he is tall, dark and handsome.
He thinks she’s cute. He rated her 10/10, for cuteness.
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Farewell party, overnight at school. Since she was the leader of the org, she wasn’t allowed to sleep; she needs to look after her members, while sleeping, yeah. How? Well, they are all sleeping in the gymnasium. So she sits on the stage, and watches them all sleep. Well she isn’t alone; all the officers weren’t allowed to sleep as well. But they played a trick on her, the rest of the officers including the head of the org, said they will just going to talk about something in the admin room. They said there must be at least two to watch the sleepyheads. So they decided it will be the leader and him.
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Minutes after, they aren’t returning. So he said, “Want to look for them?” Then they went to the office, she took a sneak peek through the window and saw all of them sleeping. She sighed feeling irritated.
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They came back to the gymnasium.
They sat again on the stage.
It was only the two of them awake.
He was playing PSP. She was just watching him.
And they talk about things.

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But things are temporal. You’re friends today, tomorrow you became enemies. You pursued something; the next day you don’t know how to ditch it. You got what you wished for, but you’re dying to undo it. Anything more constant that change? Anyone?
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He said he’s gonna say something on that day. She was afraid of it. One night, he was calling her, many times, but she wasn’t able to answer it. He was offended and thought she didn’t like him at all…and from then he never showed up again.
She didn’t understand why he disappeared all of sudden. She said sorry but got no response. She was greatly distressed.

She wanted him to look after her again, but he never did.
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One 15th of July, he decided to show up to her after what, ages? It’s been months already. She walked her friends outside, but she saw him, surprised, she stopped.
“Hey, why ya here?” she asked innocently.
“I came to see you, and greet you a happy birthday,” he answered.
“You could have texted me instead,” she replied.
“Text? I wanted to do it personally,” he added.

She has no idea what he’s trying to say.

“I just want to say that soon you will hear something about me, I just want you to know it from me first.”
“What is?” she asked.
“You will know soon,” he said.

After weeks, she just heard that he was dating somebody else. She thinks he didn’t have to explain because there was nothing between them.
After that, they never talked again. She sees him, he sees her, but never ever said hi hello. They became strangers again.
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She was deeply burdened she wanted him back. She didn’t want the pain to go away because pain is the only thing she has of him. But there’s no way she could ever undo it. She still likes him until now, because he was one of the people who have believed in her even when she was just starting to make difference in life.
She thinks she is the guy that deserves many chances. But sadly, he never asked for it. Someone stops trying.
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“Sometimes you play a game even if you know you’ll lose it.”
She marked it as an open-ended story, she still hopes.
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Loving someone, they say, means delayed pain. Caring the most about someone who cares not about you can cause severe mental destruction. Sometimes you will just ask yourself if man’s inclination (humans in general) is evil all the time, is there any hope to experience a great love?

Day by day, repeatedly mistakes are witnessed, from strangers, to your friends, to your family and even you yourself.

But it’s not the heart that sets our destinations. If it is then we be like hopeless creatures with ever-increasing wickedness because the heart above all things is deceitful. It is misleading, it is evil, it is dishonest than anything else, but the good news is that it can be cured.


How to guard you heart?
(1) Trust the Lord with all your heart.
(2) Love the Lord God with all your heart.
(3) Delight yourself into the Lord and the desires
    of your heart will be what God loves and He will
    give it

As God says He does not withhold any good thing to those who are blameless, I guess there is hope. The Lord brings change.

Love God, love different, because if your partner loves God, he will be accounted to God. If he fears the Lord, then you are secure with him/her. If he fears God, he doesn’t have to fear you.

Talk less. Write more.
All parts based on truths.

|Credit goes to Pastor Robert Hern of Victory Pioneer on How to Guard Your Heart; I recommend the podcasts to you entitled, FOLLOW YOUR HEART? and LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT|

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