The Unexpected Friend

What would life be if I chose the other way? What if I chose to hide myself?

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Inside the conference room, I sat on a chair in front of where he was seated and waiting for me. I wasn't nervous at all, I don't really get nervous over one on one meetings, it's either people talk about how good you are or how you can do better. So it didn't really bother me whichever is it about.

He asked, "How are you?"

"About work or in general?" I replied.

"Naah, HOW ARE YOU?" he answered.
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These were really the days in my life that I was super sensitive and vulnerable, that at any moment, anywhere, for any petty reason, I will breakdown.
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"So HOW ARE YOU?"
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As my brain is trying to process my command to it to stay calm and not lose it, the question was even more quick to hit me so bad. So before I even start to collect my emotions real quick...

I bursted into tears. So much tears. Tears with so much pain and loneliness, I wasn't able to say it but I have mouthed,

"I'm not okay..."

And my emotions were uncontrollable, and I couldn't catch a breath properly. The pain I feel on my chest, my brain can't calm me down.

The sorrow and the misery, I cannot fathom.

I couldn't hold my head up to look at him, but when I was able to, I saw him in tears, in real tears. His eyes are full of pain.

That pain in his eyes, they are familiar. I seem to recognise them.

He stood up quick and walked towards me, "Stand up."

I couldn't stand up, "Stand up!" he repeated.

I stood up with both of my hands covering my face.

And he hugged me so tight.
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I was ashamed of myself. I was ashamed of how weak I felt I was. I've never felt so down in my life like that. It was dark.

"Do you think the world is different because of you?"

"I think there's no difference without me in it."

"THAT IS NOT TRUE," he replied.
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I am convinced that God's plans are really higher than ours. And that He won't allow any temptation that is beyond what we are able, and that He, Himself will provide a way out.

He's led me to my breakthrough.

There are people in our lives that we value so much but are not our best friends.

People that we love so much but are not our family.

People that make us smile but don't do anything for us.

Today, I am writing this blogpost about you, because you deserve a space on this special part of my life, my blogs.

You have believed in me so much (only my mum can do that!) even during those times that didn't make sense. You have allowed me to grow and, do me. You have trusted me so much.

I hope everyone that you meet will know you the same way that I have known you, Dave.

I'm happy and grateful for your life.

I hope you're proud that I'm becoming happier and happier each day.

Happy birthday, see you soon.




Lady Diana