G

"It's a blessing and a cur---"

"A curse."

"Yeah."

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Finally, someone understood me. 

That night, during my high school year, as I prepare to sleep, laid down, staring at the ceiling and contemplated...

"Life is just this? You study. You find a work. You get married. You build a family. You work to support that family. Your children study. They find work. They build family, and so on. That's it?" said my 14-year old me.

I was too realistic. Too rational. I see things through a different lense. I never looked at my life as if I'm a protagonist, I felt afloat, looking at it, and I see the world system, and they don't.

And then I felt, alone. 

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Fast forward to today. 

I was right, that one, life in itself is just this. Two, I was right to feel upset that life was just this.

One, that the significance of life depends on the value you put into it. By itself, it can be just nothing more than working, living and dying.

Two, I felt upset of life in itself, therefore I longed to find the meaning of it, and I found it.

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What will a man profit, if he gains the world, but loses his soul?

It's appointed for man to die once, and after that is judgment.