Am I real?

 Do you sometimes ask yourself if it's real? If you're real?

A lot of times, when I space out, I wonder if I am real, if I am not just some sort of fictional character, am I really my mum's daughter? Am i really people's friend? Is this life real?

-

-

-

-

I told my friend how unproductive I feel I am, and she asked me what I normally do in a day, after I told her, she's like, "Nope, you are productive."

A huge amount of my time I spend "thinking through things" and she was like, "You have the ability to think thoroughly, that's why you think a lot, and you think of relevant things."

"How can you say I think of things relevant, important?" I responded.

"Because you are smart," she said. "I can't do your routine, it's too busy for me."

-

-

-

-

When I get into the "technical space" of life, yup I made that up, and I mean the earthly reality of life such as paying bills, savings, insurance, investments, career, so on, I feel so real. I feel so human. I feel being one of. 

When I enter another space, which I will call "soul space," where I roam around all the time, I pause, literally, space out, quiet myself, detach from my body, I feel so alienated. I then see things differently, I see sky as vastness, my mum as my safety blanket and my iced coffee as an earthly manifestation of hope.

-

-

-

-

If you happen to see this, please affirm I am real and I exist, thanks x