Happy tears

Today was a roller coaster of emotions.

As I was preparing my message for today's gathering, my heart was so heavy, I kept on thinking how I will fail delivering this because I was not feeling good. Almost done with me transferring my draft to my presentation, my friend video called me. It was a good timing, I needed something to uplift me. They (as all of them are together at that day) just wanted to catch up and invited me for a coffee. Thank you so much friends, you calmed me. 

An hour before leaving home, I reviewed my message and run through it quickly and emailed it to our multimedia team. 

I was driving and praying to God to remove the heaviness in my heart as I wanted to give my best. It's unfair to God not to be able to offer my all so I really wanted to make sure my heart is right before him. 

I arrived with a low spirit, and as one by one enters the venue, I slightly have loosen up as they have tried to catch up with me before we start. Today's programme was different, the message is quite longer and interactive and so I was very worried since it's the focal point of the event, and I will be leading it with a very heavy heart. 

Thank God for the Praise and Worship part as I was able to lay my burden down before God, and as I stood up, my heart felt at peace. 

( Message is done ) 

As I closed the message in a prayer, I couldn't hold back my tears, it bursted down, I always try so hard not to cry in front of so many people that I am not really very close with but I just couldn't hold it back at that time. I struggled to utter the words clearly but I prayed to God sincerely for those people. 

When I asked them to join me in prayer, and put their hand up if they did, and then I bursted in tears all the more. I cried happy tears because I am witnessing through my own eyes people who wanted to follow Jesus. 

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We've wrapped it up, and said our hellos and his to everyone. 

I saw him who raised his hand in that prayer happily approaching me with a fistbump. His eyes were smiling at me, since I can't really see his smile under the face mask. 

I saw people hugging each other. I greeted everyone with a very happy heart and fistbump them confidently and managed to talk to almost everyone. 

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I came home at peace. 

Thank You Lord for the encouragement. I want to love people more and serve people more. 

I want to pursue You more.