Wounds with cause

 The week was rough. I slept late last night and woke up so early. I couldn't bring myself to do my routine today however feeling sluggish is not always an option for me especially today. I need to practice, but today was especially hard.

I got out of the bed when I started to feel like I'm running out of time to practice, but still I can't just do it. I thought working out quick will help me feel energised, it didn't. I washed, and laid down on my bed once again. I closed my eyes, and lost myself.

I woke up after 2 hours, and now time was critical, I still haven't practiced and reviewed my message. But I managed to get my guitar so quick, as expected, deadlines are such effective motivators, not good but always work. Deadlines to mental health issues like the high functioning category are just simply a motivator to live, we're not afraid of you.

In one and half hour, I managed to practice and get ready then headed out. 

The thing I struggle is invalidating myself when I don't feel as strong to preach strength, don't feel so encouraged to encourage, and too anxious to preach peace. But hey, perfection is such a stupid expectation, it's not realistic and so, I want to tell myself today, "It's okay to have bad days."

It's okay to be wounded and heal. Wounds heal.

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And I am writing this, after a long day, I'm now getting ready to sleep, I realise that, this is that "daily bread" in the Lord's prayer. Jesus didn't ask for the whole year's food, He taught us to ask for each day's food to create an intimate relationship with God by talking to Him daily. I will never feel strong all the days of my life, and that is to remind me that apart from God, I can't do anything.

My weakness is an umpire that reminds me that God's power is about to shine on me.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I will persevere knowing these momentarily sufferings are nothing compared to the glory that is going to be revealed in the future.

Streets of gold soon.