Persevering

"If it's becoming a burden to you, let me know, there's always a way to help you. I can help you."

Those words, I used again. It must be nice to hear those words too, but it's always different to be the giver. We always look for constant people when what we should actually be doing is be that "constant" to people. 

Instead of trying to focus on what you can get from people, focus on what you can add to them.

I could have been somewhere else better, but what's a better place? Isn't it a place where your people are I realised, therefore this was that better place I conclude. I laid my body down on a hard wooden long chair, staring at the night sky and realised I have never really slept under the stars even if I have always been fond of them.

My body didn't feel great that day but to be able to push yourself to do noble things is a good way to remind myself that I can control myself. It was purposeful and meaningful although it wasn't that comfortable.

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Last month was extra challenging, forced to make abrupt changes with your established lifestyle for 2 years, spending more because I have to, giving more because I have committed to it, constantly challenging myself to become more... Sometimes I find myself so weird desiring to do such things. I ended up asking a friend if I am too much, and if should I live my life like everybody else to make it easier?

I think, I won't be happier either. Might as well struggle for doing noble things rather than enjoy but everything is futile.

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Still a lot of things to improve and change with myself. I will work hard to become a better person, become more, so I can serve you more. 

After all, that's my purpose.